Friday, February 24, 2012

a change of heart (we're allowed!)

This is a really hard post to write because I'm just not sure how honest I want to get, to be honest with you! To begin with, this is a post I need to write to remember my heart during this season of life with a 2nd grader in our home. Our first 2nd grader and since we have a couple more to hit this stage eventually, I hope to remember the lessons I'm learning now to relate with my future ones.

So from the beginning... as our oldest son reached the age of being ready for school we had many conversations about how that would look for our family. Public school, home-school, part time school, private school... all were options at some point and ones I looked into before making a decision. I turned to the Bible for direction and prayed and prayed for this decision within our own family. I found verses about training up my child, about teaching him, about living amongst others, about being salt and light in the world, about being available for the young ones, about parenting in so many ways. It was overwhelming at times and I wanted to make the right choice for our child, following God's direction. As kindergarten crept closer I struggled at times wondering where, how, and when to educate Jaxon. There were many things we loved about public education and our neighborhood offered a great school. There were many things I loved about the idea of home-schooling. When it came down to it, we kept coming back to our children as individuals. We realized that each child of ours may need different things to really help them develop into who God made them. As we looked at Jaxon we saw he was a kid who could really thrive in attending public school and we sent him to kindergarten. We kept him home 1 day a week, as our district only offers all day everyday programs and as his parents we felt 4 days a week was plenty for a 5 year old. He stayed home Wednesdays and seemed to just excel in this new routine. He did great. We loved the experience he had, loved the school staff he had come into contact with, and didn't think twice about sending him onto 1st grade at the same building. We felt like we were really "teaming" up with the teachers in his life and he was being valued, encouraged, taught well, and loved at both home and school. For two years it was a good set-up for us and for Jaxon.

This year Jaxon began 2nd grade excited to head to the new hall where the lockers are and where he was a little more then the "little kids". We walked into the year excited for him and ready to tackle another year of education. Being a part of a school is so much about community too and in the last couple years we have established a very wonderful little group of other families around us whom we started just doing some of our life together. As we prayed for our children, car-pooled, had play-dates, shared our hearts, shared snacks, and became more then just faces on the playground to each other, I felt so blessed to have such a good village of school staff and other families around our family as we all walked through the school years together. For going on three years now together, life at school was in a really happy place. So when just weeks into second grade when Jaxon started having some really big changes come over him, I was taken aback as to what was happening to our happy little place. We knew there were risks with attending school and as the year progressed we found ourselves trying to weave through some very rough patches. My heart sensed something needed to change. As 2nd semester came around we took a big leap of faith and decided to do dual-enrollment. For a handful of reasons, this became very clear to my heart that this is something I just needed to really stand firm in and do. I sensed Jaxon could really benefit from some one on one time as he walked through some emotions about what was going on around him and I felt our family could really work better with him home more often. The extra time gives him some space to be more connected here with us and an opportunity to really shape his heart as he grows and learns about life during this season. I knew this would be an adjustment for all of us, but I really felt God would honor this decision...I can't explain it very well other then I felt really called to bring my son home and train him, spend time with him, and nurture his heart right now.

We are 1 month into part time home-schooling. I have had a bajillion lessons since then and will post again on how that has looked for me, as part time teacher these days :) I know I can leave this post today with this... I have had so much peace about this decision. I truly feel this is where God wants us right now and Jaxon is doing great in this new routine. When we truly ask God for direction and wait for Him to press upon our hearts His desires for us, I do believe He will reveal that in time. I also believe it may not always seem like the easiest choice. Home-schooling, as any of you out there reading who do this know, is a whole new challenge for mothers. I thought I was doing this to shape Jaxon's character and heart. It seems God is using this to really shape my own.

No comments:

Post a Comment