Thursday, February 27, 2014

make yes count

Hey worn out Mama's... sit down. Pause for a moment and look ahead with me. Way ahead past these long days and short years... Are you coming with me? I'm sitting here looking at the day before my first child leaves our home. The day before he launches out into that big world all by himself and leaves not only a room empty in our home, but in my heart too. In the fast pace that life moves, that day will be here probably sooner then later.

That day will come when all our efforts to get our children to the starting line of their new life is our today. It will be just that...just another day. Packing, last meals at home, sibling exchanges, and maybe something special...or maybe something just simple to say here you are, you've made it...both you and I.

My oldest hits double digits in just a few weeks. My youngest is still in her newborn year. And some where in-between all these days with these little ones, I've almost forgotten to look ahead... To see that these days come to an end.

So come sit with me... Breath deep... and what do you see?

I want to see a day that is filled with knowing and trust and confidence and love and purpose. Looking ahead only makes me look back. It's been a beautifully, messy decade being this guys Mama. In the season of firstborn's I've found I am walking ahead blind most days. And when I look to his final day here, I hope I can look back and know I was there. To know we are at the next step in life and while it may be sad for me, it will be a day I've prepared for, trenched through for, and chosen for. A day I've said yes to long before it arrives.

This life wants to move fast. This world wants to make me run a pace that won't let me stay where I am for very long. And as I look ahead I want to know I stayed here as long as I could. Made my minutes count. So I say no. And I say yes. And what I say yes to, means I say no to something or someone else. And when I say no...I say yes even louder to another.

I'm often days a worn out, run the race of parenting Mama. But even in these days, I know they are numbered. I know that day will come when it will be his last here. I want to live today, knowing that when I say yes and when I say will be for what is ahead of us. Oh Mama's, lets choose for tomorrow. Choose what will land us confidently to that last day home with our firsts...our last days with each of them here. Choose to be here today, so that he spends his final day at home knowing he's ready, it's time, it's been a good journey. We're right where we're supposed to be. Let your yes's count for us, count for them...count for a life that is full.

I'm looking ahead hoping that I choose to live today for his tomorrows. A purpose filled life that keeps me in these little moments that mold a life. Many lives. I want to say yes today to his life, so when that final day comes...I can yes to his first day away from my home.

This isn't a say yes to staying home all the time with your children post. This is a say yes to being there, all there when you have the chance. The ways of this world want to distract us and doubt us and demand of us. But lets be Mama's that devote. Say yes to devoting all of ourselves when we are present. Say no to what wants to steal our time. And say yes to being ready for that final day.

Breathe deep... jump back in the rat race of today... and say yes. Yes to today, this moment, these people... for last days will come all too soon. Baby boy's turn 10 and before long we're making final favorite meals and packing up the mini van to move them out...  Breathing deep. Saying yes.

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