Wednesday, January 23, 2013

together we are enough

Last week I sat in a room full of mama's who had each woke that day with the very best intentions to love their children and their husband with every breath they take. As I sat, I see myself in so many faces and yet I barely know many of these women. We sit and we listen and we talk and many days we laugh or cry during this time too. We are all so different, yet one thing ties us together...the children we have committed to during their little years.  I have sat amongst this circle for almost 9 years through different seasons of having my own babies and this commitment, this desire to give these little years all our heart for the purpose of bringing up God's kingdom has never changed. It rings true for many of us. As these women have gathered rooms have changed, teachers have changed, children have changed, and faces in those chairs have changed...but the hearts all beat the same and for the same Lord and his calling for these little years.

As the years have gone by many themes seem to linger year after year. Many lessons I have learned through the hearts of these gals and I have found a safe place to feel the way I feel.  And as I have brought one and then two and then three and soon to be four little ones from my womb and into this circle of similar souls doing the same thing, I have watched as we each have walked a path of trying to be just who God made us in a world that screams at us to be everything. It is in that place of trying to be everything that so many of us come each week and sit in our chairs feeling a bit like we just haven't done enough to be who God made us to be. And in the last year I have personally stared that question in the face and asked myself...just what is enough?

It was no coincidence that after weeks of sick boys and missing this weekly gathering of similar mama's that I found my way back when the teacher for the day started off with the same question...only following with the assurance that after years in her own walk as a mama that surely, we are all enough...just the way we are.  A theme my own heart has entertained for some time now.

In this last year as I started to ask myself the questions of am I doing enough and how much can I do and what am I supposed to do and should I do this or should I be doing that? is here where I started to let myself feel like not enough and turn to the One who says...I made you to be only who you do what only you were made for and nothing more. As I started to believe this Truth that I don't have to be everything I started to feel free to be...just me. And thats all. So my list of what I should be or might be started to become a bit more balanced and it felt so good. And it was freeing. I started to believe I was enough...just the way I was.

In this place of needing to be enough I have found much peace in knowing that not everything must be done by me. I look around that room of women all bringing up their little ones and am thankful that some of them serve on the PTA and some of them head up church committees and some of them organize play-dates and some of them bake home-made goodies for their kid's classrooms and some of them plant beautiful gardens and some of them do fun art projects and some of them read 10 books a day to their kids and some of them home-school and some of them run marathons and some of them work part time and some of them memorize scripture and some of them sing in the worship band and some of them teach VBS classes and some of them play piano and some of them travel all the time with their kids  and some of them sew their kids costumes each year and so many other things too... and the beauty I have found in this last year as I keep walking along this path of motherhood is that I finally feel fine knowing I am not made to do everything. Because God made me to just do a hand full of things and do them well. Knowing He made all of us to do just a few things...not me peace as I can sit next to these other gals knowing they were made for many of these things that I can not do while I focus on doing the things that God gave just me for this time.

So I look around this room full of mothers with little ones and smile inside knowing that together, we are enough for this world and for our Creator. I hope we can walk away to our own homes feeling His encouragement to just do what we were made for today. To not listen to each other and feel less because of what every other mother is doing, but to feel like enough as we sit together each year and know we are doing what has been put on our own hearts, our own lists...written by our Creator for each of us. And I promise everything will not be on all our lists. Find your own lists today, know it is okay to cross things off because God already made another heart to fill that role somewhere and it doesn't always have to be you. God made me for my children and to walk in these little years in a way that nobody else can. He has done the same for all of you. So let that be and everyday. As we gather, our intentions are all similar, but our assignments from Him all look very different. To be enough, we must give everything to Him and only take back what He hands to us... which in His everything.

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